Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Product Endorsement

Hello from Sothern California. It is mid-November and I'm enjoying the 84 degree weather, but not the air quality. The fire storms of last week have subsided. They weren’t that near where I live, but smoke filled the air so bad on Sunday that it was impossible to stay out in the sun and the pool was covered with a thin coating of ash, not conducive to taking a swim.

I have been told that California doesn’t have four seasons like the rest of the country, but I beg to differ with you. We have earthquake springs, fire storm autumns, light rain winters and frying of eggs on the sidewalk summers!

Her's something, I have a product I would like to tell you about that really works.

Recently I built a doggie door in a wall leading to my back patio for my bichon, Coco Chanel; it was supposedly to stop her from peeing on my living room rug. The problem was she didn’t like it and wouldn’t use it, but one day something else did!

I started noticing Coco didn’t want to go down stairs and at night she was having nightmares. It made me laugh to see her moving her little legs and crying out in her sleep, but as it turned out it wasn’t that funny. The next night I heard a noise downstairs, when I ran down, I noticed the candles on my dining room table had fallen. I couldn’t believe Coco had jumped on the table before coming upstairs and it didn’t explain the noise I heard. It wasn’t until my cleaning lady came the day after that I found out I had mouse droppings (mouse poop) behind my couch.

A mouse in my house, no f’ing way! Something had to be done and done quickly. I immediately ran to the store and bought a couple of mouse traps. Not the old spring wire action ones, but kinder and more humane mouse traps. They looked like big clamps that would hold the mouse but not squish its little head. I didn’t want mouse brains all over the floor, nor did I want to see mouse blood.

I was told that mice like peanut butter better than cheese, so I placed both in front of the big clamps and went upstairs to sleep. The next morning the clamps were shut, but no mouse was to be found, only the remains after his feast! The next night I used two traps, but again, only his poop was evidence he enjoyed his dinner.

I told my next door neighbor about my mouse problem and he told me it wasn’t a mouse. It was a rat! Only a big rat could leave such large droppings, and he told me I should get rid of it immediately. Since I was feeding it, it probably was setting up house, and would soon invite all his friends in. Well, I wasn’t about to let that happen.

I went to the store and told the guy who sold me the humane traps that they didn’t work as now I had a rat as a house guest. He smiled and said he had just the thing.

He brought me the Rat Zapper 2000. A metal tunnel about ten inches long, closed at one end with a place to put four penlight batteries. The thought of electrocuting something was hard for me to swallow at first, but so was having a rat living in my house!

I bought the handy, dandy Rat Zapper 2000. Reading the directions, it said you should put peanut butter or cheese inside the tunnel and not turn it on the first night. The rat thinks he’s getting food and the next night, you turn on the juice and get him. However, I had been feeding the damn thing for three nights so I was sure I didn’t need to follow that particular step. Besides, I didn’t want a rat in my house yet another night. I placed cheese inside the tunnel, not peanut butter. After all, why give the thing a treat when all I wanted to do was kill it. The hell with having a special meal before death! I turned the switch on and went upstairs to bed.

The next morning, Coco happily ran down the stairs and started barking near where the zapper was. I knew something was up, and sure enough, I saw it. A long and I mean a long, about four inches of long tail sticking out of the zapper. I can’t begin to tell you how frightened I was. And the thought of removing the thing was even worst. I had to run to my next door neighbor for help. He was almost as scared as I was, but he dumped the thing in a paper bag and that was the end of my rat problem!

So I found a product that I fully endorse. In fact, if you ever need one, ask me I loan you mine.

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